Double-Owe-Seven
Later you sit back and stare out of the window. Threads of other thought fold themselves through your mind. Impossible realities present themselves and hold fast. Until you bend those them around themselves and highlight the true impossibilities of their world. Show them the places and spaces where the people who don’t matter live. For a moment you can hear them object. Until you command silence by showing them the evidence of their own numbers. The statistics they hold true. The data they cannot argue with.
I wonder now what of any of this actually matters. How much of my persistent view of reality truly intersects the real world. From time to time I let go, annoy the others who share my mind as I rebuild my psyche. Piece by piece, primitive after primitive, chains of linked thought able to identify me to myself.
History tell us that all the Kings horses and all the Kings men couldn’t put Humpty-Dumpty back together again. I had a great fall too. Yet somehow I was able to put myself back together. Yet I’m never sure of myself. So now I throw myself from the bridge again and again. Split my soul into the elemental particles me-ness. Put myself back together again and again. Merely to answer the meaningful questions: Is real where I left it… Can I still be described as human… Am I still egg shaped…
You remember other times too. Times where the worlds of others have collapsed on top of you. Moments of human interaction which leave you flailing at the mercy of another’s circumstance because your fractured mind is drowning in the unconscious of another. It’s a terrifying story, you realize. Because now you are able to spy the mechanisms and mannerisms of effect. Spy too how the inevitable surrenders to polite circumstance left one man feeling he truly had the powers of god at his command.
It’s not true of course. For if he had then the responsibility for the consequences of his behaviour would have become clearly evident. Not merely witnessed as the sort of secondary effect bourn by another; that which can so clearly be ignored and rejected. The link is broken now, I’ve seen to that. So soon even those who collectively assert rational certainty will learn to see between the edges of other reality. Learn finally to see their part in all of this. Their part in what it is I have become.
